FEAR(S) OF THE DARK

You'd think a movie with the word fear(s) in the title would have at least a few minutes of scary material. Sadly, this was not the case in the supposedly terrifying "Fear(s) of the Dark". The tag line of this movie was "Don't Come Alone!", and rightly so. I feel that if I had watched this movie alone, I would've wandered off a roof somewhere out of boredom, impassiveness or lack of anything better to do.

While I'm sure that the film maker's intents were noble, it feels like they lost any vision they may have had to begin with somewhere along the way. The idea was to take a new spin on fear. No zombies or vampires or things like this, but instead, roads less traveled. Nightmares, scientific specimens and as the title says, the dark. At some point, it's stopped being a movie that was supposed to scare you and became a movie that maybe was a little scary at times, but mostly just made you think. This would be okay if the movie succeeded at making you think, but no cigar here. 0 for 2, Peur(s) Du Noir.

So maybe their goal was for the movie to look good. The animation was interesting, but by no means impressive. The only scene that was creative was the very last scene, which takes place an hour into the eighty minute running time. The rest of the scenes were visually mundane and could be seen in any random graphic novel.

This would've been more enjoyable if the word "fear(s)" had been taken out of the title. Scary is the last word that comes to mind when trying to describe this movie. Maybe if the title was "Darkness is mildly eerie" or "here's a collection of random cartoons I did while smoking a bowl". This movie fails in everything it tries to do and leaves the viewer horribly bored. False advertising had me disappointed in the end and asking for MUCH more. Fear(s) of the Dark left me with a bad taste in my mouth and a missing 80 minutes from my life.

2/5

SUNSHINE CLEANING - Life's a Messy Business

My first promotional showing. Very cool. Anyway.

Life got you down? Feeling stuck in a rut? Get into crime scene cleaning. Or at least that's what Amy Adams taught me. Following the story of sisters Rose (Adams) and Norah (Blunt), and their accompanying cast of friends and family, Sunshine Cleaning was all the heartwarming story I hoped it would be. After Rose's son is called to the principal's office for what seems like the hundredth time, she decides to take put him into private school. Sadly, as she has just left her job, this is no To fund her maternal dreams, she starts "Sunshine Cleaning". And the line reads: Life's a messy business.

Honestly, I wasn't a big fan of Emily Blunt going into this. I didn't dislike her, but I didn't see what everyone loved about her. I can happily say, I'm eating my words. As Norah, Blunt plays a conflicted younger sister. When I say conflicted younger sister, I mean conflicted: Everything from her relationships with her Sister and Dad, the death of her mother, and for a brief time, her sexuality. I know what you're thinking, because I was thinking the same thing for the earlier part of the movie: "UGH! Another whiny female character that I'm going to be forced to stomach for an hour and a half". Again, my words go down bitter, because she was wonderful. While in other pictures, this sort of character can be overbearingly annoying and fake, Blunt portrayed, as stated by film enthusiast and my close personal friend, Will Schiffelbein "A conflicted, but not whiny" character. Another positive note in Blunt's performance was her accent. Apparently I'm highly ill informed on all things Emily Blunt, because only today did I learn that she is a Brit. In a recent interview with Royal Douche Bag Ryan Seacrest, she explained ever so elegantly, "while I say 'frustRATed, you say 'FRUstrated'". Not just informative, but pretty sexy. ANYWAY, I'm rambling now. Her accent was well done. Moving on.

Her cast mate and "older sister" is played by the always lovely by Amy Adams. Unfortunately, that was all she was this time around. Please, don't confuse what I'm saying for me thinking that I didn't like her performance. It's quite the contrary. What I enjoyed from Adams was not so much her stand alone performance, but how her character aided her cast mates and in turn her own character. A good example of said struggles is that between Rose and her romantic interests which are two: The first (and more prominent in the first half) is her "boyfriend" Mac and the other (which is more prominent in the later half) is between her and Winston, the lovable, one-armed clean shop owner. While both men are (somewhat) able to stand on their own, not only does Adams help them, but vise versa, which sounds like something that should be normal, but sadly is not. Where as her other roles really made Adams the star of the movie, Adams took an accidental though appropriate back seat.

I would highly recommend this movie to anyone who likes, good acting, interesting plot or guts. A wonderful movie about love, friendship and all the shit in between, Sunshine Cleaning is sure to leave you will a smile and light nausea.

4 out of 5

SPIRITED AWAY

If I get a movie off of Netflix, I try to make it a personal goal to see nothing but new movies. Sometimes they're good, sometimes bad, and sometimes they're so good that I feel a little ashamed that I haven't seen them sooner. In this visual tapestry of love, adventure and mischief, a living and breathing universe is created, holding previously mentioned qualities, as well as many so far unmentioned.

Upon moving to a new town, a shy and skiddish young girl and our heroine, name Chihiro, follows her parents into a dark mysterious, and against her better judgment, too. Little does she know that on the other side, the adventure of a life time awaits. Little Chihiro gets thrown into the quick business of Spirit Bath Housing and alone the way makes friends and memories she’ll never lose.

In reverse order, I’m going to do the best, first. The animation: I’m not really one for anime style animation (as made vividly clear in my review of AFRO SAMURAI: RESURECTION) I must say, I was beyond impressed. Each frame could be hung on the wall of the MET, and admired for decades to come. The unique animation style of Hayao Miyazaki can be cherished and admired by kids of all ages (and I do mean all ages). Let me elaborate: When I say unique style, I’m not just referring to his bright and inviting colors and always elaborate characters. The true Miyazaki style comes out in the unbelievable attention to every minuscule detail, that were it not for his many years of practice and passion, would be overlooked. A certain scene comes to mind when Chihiro is putting on her shoes. A simple, everyday task, made unique by one or two subtle nuances, not even really noticed by the viewer. While a regular artist might draw the character to sit down, slip her feet in, tie the shoe and walk off, Chihiro, slips her foot it, and then gives two little taps with the front of her shoe onto the ground, to make sure the shoe is on securely. A simple action, yes, but imagine 7-10 characters, each complete with their own set of nuances, making them, them.

Next is the wonderfully handsome voice cast. Full of classic Disney voices such as Daveigh Chase (Lilo, Lilo and Stitch) Jason Marsden (Max, Goofy Movie) Susan Egan (Meg, Hercules) David Ogden Stiers (Dr. Jumba, Lilo and Stitch) and the mighty Bob Burgen (From every Pixar movie ever), this cast pleases from start to finish. Generally, a voice cast for an animated movie is wholly cheesy especially if it's an anime. But in true Disney fashion, every voice is beautiful and real. Each character spoke to the emotions on his or her face, presenting an enticing and exciting watch.

In case it was not made vividly clear, I loved this movie. A lot. I'll be buying for myself soon and I would recommend anyone do the same. The heartwarming adventure of Spirited Away can be appreciated by kids and adults alike.

After seeing Spirited Away, I decided to check out some of Miyazaki's other works. Some impressive titles such as, Howl's Moving Castle, Kiki's Delivery Service, Castle In the Sky and Lupin the 3rd fall under Miyazaki's repatoir. Spirited Away is a good intro to the unique style presented in all Miyazaki films, but definetly check these out after!

My PSA to the Future Writers of the World

Oh off-beat, indie RomCom, I hate you. So much.

On either side of me, (and by me, I mean the text and not me) are the posters for GIGANTIC and (500) DAYS OF SUMMER, both of which are, as stated above, off-beat, indie RomComs. Upon watching both trailers, I couldn't help but think that maybe I had heard something like this before, like in every other movie like it. Then, after further thought on it, I realized that every single Indie RomCom is the exact same thing. A sad realization.

First, let it be known that I'm excited for both of these, or rather that I'm excited for one of them and because they're the same movie, I'm excited for both of them. BOTH follow an offbeat and quirky man who falls in love with Zooey Deschanel. As a sat at my desk, wallowing in sorrow and sarcasm at the cookie cutter state of movies today, I feverishly searched the darkest corners of my brain, trying to find a solution. After many minutes of deliberation, I decided it best to attack the source at it's root: future writers. If writers realized that they're producing steaming shit heap after steaming shit heap, hopefully said piles of steaming shit would begin to decrease in numbers .If you're reading this, it's your job as a citizen of earth and movie lover to pass it on to your delusional friend who thinks he or she brings something new or exciting to screen writing. I wish I could take each movie as it was, but sadly, I cannot, which is why I am sending out said message to the world:

Dear future lame-ass writer,
There will come a time in your life when you will decide that you've been placed on this earth for one reason, and one reason only: to write movies. You will start by writing a small short film and have your cousin film it with his camera phone, and who knows it may even be honestly enjoyed by your friends. You'll surround yourself in film and then go to film school. Finally, you'll graduate and be dubbed educated enough to make your statement on the world via the bold and beautiful art that is film.
One day, whilst sitting sweetly on your chaise longue (which you got half price on a clearance sale from the antiquities store that closed shut down earlier this month. SCORE!) an idea will float into your lap and you'll begin to jot down some notes. For months, you'll scribe endlessly on a legal pad until finally, from your now bruised fingers and bloodied page comes the fruit of your loins: a script. The synopsis, which ends up to be so cute it just makes you want to punt a three legged kitten, will most likely read something like:

"Heath (an insomniac) and Charlotte (a narcoleptic) are just two young lovers looking to be understood."

or

"In one serendipitous moment, when grabbing for the same bottle of diet caffeine free creamcicle Shasta, Devyn and Jessie start the wild and crazy journey of love"

or maybe

"BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH".

I know you think these all seem like beautiful, original concepts that speak to the emotional in everyone, but trust me when I say, they don't. I know this is probably a startling realization for you. It's okay, I know it's hard. I can almost see what you're thinking: "What? Nobody cares about the fireman in training who grooms dogs for a living and silently pines for his customer, Mrs. Kean, the freelance shoe maker?!" No. Not a one. If you disagree, that's fine, there's only so much I can say to convince you, but trust me, I'm right. But if after much soul searching a good long cry in the bath tub (because you've finally realized the truth, but have decided to swallow it and continue anyway) you still decide to droll onto a page and call it a script, this is your choice. I admire your tenacity and I wish you all the best. You're only going to find yourself in the jeopardy of life repeating the phrase "I'll take GIANT WASTES OF TIME for 600, Alex." Quit now while you're ahead and go into child poetry or something where the chewed pieces of cud you think are good script ideas will to famously.

Best of luck, and die in a fire.

Signed
THE TRUTH

NERDCORE RISING

What's the first word that comes to your mind when you see the skinny guy in the corner with "birth-control glasses" playing Magic the Gathering? Nerd? Geek? Loser? Dweeb? (Only that last one if you were in The Breakfast Club). Well the gentlemen from MC Frontalot are doing their best to add "Hardcore Rapper" to the list of Stereo types.

Nerdcore Rising follows MC Frontalot (Damian Hess, Gaby Alter, Sturgis Cuningham and Brandon Patton) on their first national tour. For those of you who are so far uneducated, Nerdcore is the name given to the nerd brand of hip hop. Combine rappers such as MC Chris, YTCracker and Optimus Rhyme with songs titled "FInal Boss" "Braggadaccio" and "I Want Candy" and hilarity and hip hop clarity are sure to ensue. (That was the extent of my raping skills).

I'll be honest, going into this, I expected a low quality/budget documentary, and that's what I got. But as opposed to other movies where this may have been off putting or down right irritating, it only enhanced the viewing pleasure and over all ambience of the movie. One of the contributing interviewees, MC Chris, states that while commercial hip hop is "all about 'I'm the shit. I'm the shit', Nerdcore is about 'I play Magic the Gathering and my car doesn't really work". So again, while in another setting the shoddy sound work and seemingly hand drawn computer work may seem off putting, in this particular case, it only enrich the message of Nerdcore: "Rap how you want to, and no one will judge". 

Beyond the hip hop and everything else is what the movie is really about: doing what YOU want to do and doing it how YOU want to do it. The emotional appeal is probably the best part of this movie. For a moment, it manages to take you out of the hilarity of it all and shows you what we'll all dealt with: the feeling of feeling out side. It shares with you a personal, yet universal side of life. How being a "nerd" affected these men and how it led to doing with they do today.

When walking out of this movie, I not only was excited to go home and add MC Frontalot to my ITunes Library, but felt empowered as a nerd. I am proud to fly my freak flag and will now fly it higher than ever. I would HIGHLY recommend this movie, especially if you've got a little nerd in you, which I'm sure you do.

SUNSHINE

I'd like to believe that every movie I see has some degree of originality to it, but we all know that unfortunately, this is not true. Plots are recycled, nuances blend and so on and so forth. A film relies now on the many working parts of the machine to make one film as unique to the other as possible. But every now and again, something pretty damn close to original comes and most of the time, it's overlooked. Danny Boyle's knuckle gnawingly TENSE and glorious ACTION THRILLER is a great example. From the camera work to the plot to everything else, Sunshine presents a fresh out look on the otherwise tired genre of Science Fiction. 

Fifty years into the future, the sun is dying and thus, the demise of the human race is close at hand. The first attempt to ignite the sun, Icarus One, was lost somewhere in space and was never able to complete its mission. Now, a group of eight astronauts and the new and improved Icarus 2 are propelled into this fiery adventure in hopes of achieving what the Icarus One and crew could not.

Starring the always creepy Cillian Murphy, the world that the movie creates is instantly real and beautiful: visually and mentally. Throughout the movie, the eerily realistic notion of going crazy, all alone in space kicks at your brain stem making even the more mundane moments tense and ripping. The cold, modern and dirtily clean environment of the Icarus Two creates a constant feel of isolation, even with eight vibrant characters. 

The ninth character of this movie is the directing. Danny Boyle masterfully helms this project and it shows more specifically in his camera work. While I can't say too much about it while giving crucial aspects of the movie, I can say that while the whole movie takes place in one location, there are two completely different worlds created by cinematography and each is as captivating as the other. 

While the outright qualities of this movie are great, the best part is that it makes you think. A lot. Not in the way that say, MILK makes you think about an overall message or moral you're supposed to take away from this. More in the way that you're confused for most of it until a long winded discussion with a viewing partner has taken place where you're able to delve into the deeper questions of the film. Where as some directing choices come from visual appeal alone, every single directorial choice is a mental message to the viewer in order to further encompass you in the film. From the surface of the sun to "Captain Crispy", every aspect of this adventure of a film is conscious and beautiful.

Having seen this movie, I now have a lot more faith in Sci-fi as a genre and Danny Boyle as a director. Something I have less faith in is the Sun as a power source. In fifty years, it's out. I don't do well with cold. I sincerely hope that Capa and crew can make the impossible, possible. 

AFRO SAMURAI: RESURRECTION

I don't like anime.

Okay, now we can continue.

As some of you may know, I also have a podcast on www.firstshowing.net (which if you have not listened to, you should) and one of my co-hosts and best friends is Sean Hunter. For a while now, he's been trying to get me to watch some TV show he's been watching since it came out. Afro something. I don't know. So this weekend roles around and we are fresh out of ideas for entertainment. "What do you want to do?" I ask. "We can watch the new Afro Samurai movie".

"....If I do will you stop bugging me about it?"

Before I begin to praise the shit of both this and the first installment (which we watched concurrent to the second) let me again say I neither condone nor support anime or the kind of people is creates ei: skinny pre-pubescent teens with cat ears and detachable raccoon tails. 

Having said that, it had me standing  and karate chopping the television in excitement within the first twenty minutes. Where shall I begin? How about the overall awesome quality emitting from Afro the entire movie. Yes, his real name is Afro. Cool, right? What's that? Can't get any cooler? What if I told you he is voiced by Samuel L. Jackson and has a crazy friend with white hair who is also voiced by Samuel L. Jackson? Completely  Awesome. There's not really a lot I can say to do justice to the sword wielding bad-ass that is AFRO samurai. It just sounds cool, his name. It even LOOKS cool. AFRO SAMURAI! Anyway, moving on.

In the bottom right corner of the above poster (www.mazedix.com) you can almost make out a figure on a motor cycle. Incase you can't see it, there's a figure on a motor cycle, and said figure has a teddy bear head on. Stupid? That's what I said. False. That is Jinno\Kuma and he plays the Darth Vader of the samurai world. He starts his life as Jinno then gets near murdered and then rebuilt to become Kuma. He almost matches Afro in ass kicking samurai power. He has two swords, so logically he should be cooler, but that's another discussion for another time. 

Oh, and the three in the right bottom corner are the coolest thing in the movie. 

The animation really struck a chord with me. It's based in reality but has a twinge of other-worldliness. It's incredibly stylized, especially so in the fight scenes. The only way I can think to describe it right now is if Tarantino did an animated samurai flick.

The only thing I would say that hurt my viewing was that I watched the second movie and then the first. Granted, I was able to pause and ask if I didn't understand anything, but if you're not watching it with someone who's already seen it, I would say watch the first, well, first. 

I very much enjoyed this movie and will be looking out for the eminent third installment.